I gotta say, Famous Trees of Texas doesn't have a lot of juicy material. Written in a dry style, like the history textbooks I vaguely remember from 7th grade, even the shortest entries make my eyelids droop.

So when I read about the poisoning incident involving this tree, I was intrigued.

My first edition book (1970) doesn't include this part of the story, which happened in the late 80s, but this tidbit sort of set the stage:

I guess the maidens just drank this tea on their own, hoping for the best? Whew. I’ve been there.

Anyway, the legend claims the tea also comes in handy if you have an upcoming battle.

So in 1989, this guy, described as troubled and unstable, with a string of arrests, perhaps decided that the legend had failed him. He freaks out over his methadone clinic counselor, to whom his love was apparently unrequited.

Clearly not ok, he somehow obtains gallons of an herbicide called Velpar, made by DuPont.

He proceeds to DUMP it in a circle around the tree with attempt to kill it.

Fuck you, Tree! You ruined my relationship!

I mean, what went through this guy's mind??? Had he actually tried the tender leaf tea thing… or?

A city forester noticed there was a ring of dead grass at the base of the tree and some curled leaves as well.

Hoping it was nothing serious, he ran tests that revealed a severe chemical overdose, enough to kill many trees.

Once this news got out, Austin went full-on hippie over that tree, bringing crystals, cards, poetry and chicken soup to the site in the hopes of saving it. A Dallas psychic came down to hold an “transference of energy” ceremony.

Experts removed several inches of soil and erected a sprinkler system to cool the tree in summer as its leaves dropped. Ross Perot reportedly paid for the effort saying "just send me the bill.” DuPont also threw in some cash as a reward.

Mr. unstable was Paul Stedman Cullen, who told his friend about his ruthless act.

She took the information to authorities who arrested him. During his trial, which received a lot of press, it came out that he collected books about the occult. He spread the herbicide in the shape of a moon, believed to be some kind of ritual to bring harm to his beloved. Another odd detail: he harbored frustration that he had been forced to plant trees during a previous incarceration.

He ended up serving three years of a nine year sentence (that’s it???) and he died in 2001.

This link has video footage of the city forester, the suspect and even Barbara Walters reporting on the incident.

I guess all the love and attention worked.

When we pulled up to the Treaty Oak, it looked healthy despite some large wounds.

A random guy with a crocodile dundee leather hat, vest and a shopping cart full of crap seemed to be just waiting for someone to walk up. As soon as we started reading the marker, he spoke rather loudly to us:

Y'all want to know about the tree?

(Kinda just wanted to experience it, thanks).

We didn't answer and started walking around to the other side of the massive tree canopy.

I can tell you things you WON'T FIND on the INTERNET.

He was almost shouting.

SOME THAT SAY THIS TREE IS OVER 900 YEARS OLD!!!

Definitely shouting there.

We kept walking and he indignantly gave up, pushing his cart away down the sidewalk as though we were complete idiots who just couldn't take the real shit he was laying down.

By far the most majestic of the trees we had seen that day

with a gnarled branching structure creating a deep, dappled shade, this oak completely lived up to the hype. It was surrounded by metal stakes with a chain barrier and a sign reading NO UNAUTHORIZED PRUNING.

We definitely came without tools or plans to prune, and there was no mention of sensitive roots, so we slipped under the chain to get close to the trunk. We marveled at the large wounds. Were they part of the 1989 damage, or had other difficult times proceeded that incident?

Once again this single oak seemed wise with resilience, experience and age.

We wondered: How could anyone harm such an astounding specimen? How could this gigantic old tree affect your love life?

Snapping a few more tree hugging photos like good little instagramers, we decided it was about time to cool off. We realized we might as well pay to hold our parking spot and walked over to a nearby establishment called Better Half Coffee & Cocktails.

Sitting down at the bar, we noticed quite a large tree (!) in the outdoor seating area.

Deeply appreciating the blessed air-conditioning at that particular moment, we sat inside for a spell enjoying a glass of sauvignon blanc before going back out to see.

This large, but slowly disintegrating live oak was supported on all sides with a rusty steel square structure, presumably to keep the whole thing from splitting open. There was a gaping space large enough to stand in, where two big trunks grew in two separate directions and the middle part had likely rotted away.

One staff member walked by and told us it was the oldest oak in North Central Texas? I haven’t verified that, but whether or not it’s the case, we appreciated the lovely bit of closure this created for our day.

We saw three other groups of trees in Austin that day:

Seiders Oaks
Battle Oaks

Auction Oaks

Random Bonus!

This country band is called Treaty Oak Revival